Our trip to Sequoia
It is literally not possible for my family to go on vacation without being compared to the Griswold's at least once a day. Seriously. For all the planning and good intention, somehow we manage to turn our trips into a slapstick comedy of errors that has been seemingly scripted by some play-write sitting in the National Lampoon offices. This trip was no exception.
Pre-trip highlights
Pop Pop and Sean rent an RV in Reno on their way up to the lake, and bring it up to the house where Shesh and I spend an entire day (with help from Sean) loading it with groceries and various camping supplies. The RV arrived in mint condition, which is more than I can say for how it was returned to the rental agency. It was an awesome vehicular specimen, with extendable sides and room enough to sleep 8! Laney immediately felt the urge to poop on the potty in there due to the novelty of the blue water. This earned Patrick the official title of "Dumper of ye olde black water" after this.
Day 1: Lake Tahoe to Tuttletown campground
Patrick got up to Tahoe the night before our trip around 6pm. He had been hiking in the Sierra's with a friend and realized after he arrived that he lost his camera in the desert upon completion of said hike. He decided to leave early that morning to go find it and drove to Bishop (again) to retrace his steps. About 10 minutes from the trail head where he suspected his camera was, he got a call from his friend that the camera had been located in his car. So, Patrick bought us some bread at Schaatz's bakery and headed across the Sierras (again) to meet up with us on the west side of the range. We (Pop Pop, Shesh, Sean, Laney, Liam, Maggie, Travis, Toby, Bodie, Buster, and myself) managed to leave at the crack of one and drove down in comfort. We met up at our dusty campsite that evening for burgers, beach beans, and corn. We set up our tents and Liam went right to sleep in the pack 'n play in our tent. I took Laney on a "treasure walk." This entailed looking for interesting nature items to glue onto a collage while riding her bike. While I was gone Sean dropped one of the storage doors on mom's head as they were unloading some camping gear. Mom later fell out the door of the RV as she missed that last step in the dark. She was banged up and in need of more bandaids before we even made it halfway to Sequoia. It was really hot at the campground, so we decided not to put the rain fly's on the tents. During the night Sean heard a noise and turned on his flashlight to check out the tree above him. He spied an owl, and so did Buster. As the owl was trapped in the beam, it took flight, and so did Buster. He tried to run right through the door of the tent, and ripped a hole in the screen. Looks like Sean will be buying a new tent for Patrick.
 |
| Setting up the ill-fated pee tent |
Favorite quote from day 1: "Hey Patrick, just found your camera. It was in my car after all..."
Day 2: Tuttletown to Sequoia
 |
| Is that a bear? Nope, just Pop Pop auditioning for the Bear Country Jamboree! |
I woke up with a deflated mattress under me, and the overwhelming smell of pee around me. I realize that Toby has peed on his blanket and the pee ran downhill under my air mattress. I also realize that he slept in his own pee, and that it is going to be interesting tent camping with him. Patrick had to mop out our tent. Sean sat down in one of the chairs and it busted. About this time he declared that he thought he had a brain aneurysm. I reminded him that he just had an IPA hangover. As the morning progressed, the kids and I made numerous trips in and out of the RV. During one trip, Laney asks me, "what's that sound?" I told her that it was Pop Pop snoring. We looked at the cab bed where he was sleeping, and all we could see was fur. He had brought a faux fur blanket to sleep with and was wrapped up in it. I was instantly reminded of Disneyland and the Bear Country Jamboree that we used to go to as kids. Finally Shesh went to see how it was possible that none of our trips in and out had awakened him. He was cleverly sleeping with headphones! We filled up the camp dumpster with the chair and mattress and got ready to leave. On our way out of the campground, Pop Pop managed to sideswipe a wooden post. A storage bin flap got the worst of it, and we later pried the wood out of the jamb so that we could open the flap to retrieve our stove.
 |
| ooops! |
We had to stop in Fresno for a few new items (mattresses, chairs, dry shampoo for the dog, and the list goes on) and I googled Target. After a quick shopping trip, we dined at Round Table Pizza while the dogs stayed in the air-conditioned RV. During lunch Laney asked Patrick if he was eating a cherry. He told her no, it was a baby tomato. She then asked if there was a baby inside. Too funny. I spent the day in the Suburban driving with Patrick while the kids rode in the RV. Apparently there was about 2 cups of kibble rolling around the floor and a whole lot of commotion in that camper. The relative quiet of the Suburban was a welcome retreat for me. We met up with Jessica and Gavin along the way and managed to pull into Sequoia at 5:45. Pop Pop pulled too close to the stop sign at the entrance to the campground, and we managed to hit that too. We showered the kids (especially Laney's marshmallow bangs) and put them to bed in the tent. The Perry's arrived at Dorst Campground and we all sat around a campfire waiting for Cameron and Kelly. They got stuck at a road construction site and had to wait 2 hours before they were allowed into the campground, not arriving until almost 1am.
 |
| Dorst Creek Campground |
Favorite quote of day 2: "Buster, no more sticks. Eat your hammer."
Day 3: Sequoia (and our 11th wedding anniversary), hiking at Crescent Meadow:
During the night it got too cold for Liam, and we moved him and the pack 'n play to the RV, prompting most of the tents around us to think there might be bears in the camp. Thank goodness for Jessica's Jet Boil and Starbucks VIA coffee. Dawn comes early and my kids get up at first light.
 |
| Thanks for the photo bomb Cameron |
After a hearty breakfast of pancakes, bacon, and eggs, most of us headed out for a hike at Crescent Meadow.
We had both kids in the Kelty backpacks during the hike. We walked to Tharp's Log, Chimney Tree, and Huckleberry Meadow. During our hike we saw two juvenile bears foraging in the meadow. We had lunch sitting on a log overlooking the meadow and both of the kids fell asleep during the hike. It was a beautiful day and the hike was fun.
 |
| Crescent Meadow: the two brown spots in the grass are bears. |
 |
| Cameron and Kelly: exactly half of all of my cousins! |
 |
| Happy hikers, sleepy kids. Happy anniversary to us! |
 |
| Tharp's Log: ask Laney about it today and all she remembers is that he had a bed there and has been dead for a long time. |
 |
| Chimney Tree |
 |
| We drove through Auto Log |
After we returned to camp, we sat around drinking beers and playing Bagg-o.
Cameron and I totally sucked at it, unfortunately. We needed more water in the RV so I could wash the kids, so Pop Pop drove us over to the water station while Patrick hung on the back ladder. I had already gotten Laney undressed for a shower, so she rode over to the station in the nude looking out the back window at Patrick. She told me that "daddy is pushing the motor home." Wonder what the neighbors thought... Patrick learned to dump the grey water and we were back in business. We made Cowboy Caviar for the afternoon, and dinner was steaks, baked potatoes, red wine, and cake to celebrate the occasion. Everyone wants to know our tips for surviving 11 years of marriage.
Here they are:
1. Alcohol. 2. Separate interests. 3. Separate hobbies. 4. Separate vacations. (Love too!)
After dinner our neighbors arrived at their campsite and set up their camp in the dark. They slept in a tent with no poles that was just barely held up with strings. Pure comedy. They didn't think it was so funny.
Randomness from the day:
 |
| Scootering a lap around the campground |
- Cameron hears a women in camp yell to her kids, "don't go too far or the bears will eat you!"
- Sean got romance tips from Cameron, including the pink daisy vs a rose.
- Sean made me a walking stick for the mud on our hike, so sweet!
- We decide the Perry's will take an annual camping trip
- Laney makes everyone do laps with her on her bike and scooter, and she falls and hits her chin.
- Steve made pizza appetizers, and had to finish it with a blowtorch.
- Jessica decides that she is no longer afraid of bears because the ones we saw in the meadow were so cute!
Favorite quote from day 3: "don't go too far or the bears will eat you!"
Day 4: Sequoia, hiking at General Sherman and Congress Trail
Liam was super fussy the night before (spent the entire night in the RV) but woke up and had FINALLY cut a new tooth, and now sported 8 pearly whites. We let Laney eat s'mores for breakfast and informed Cameron that if he went too far a bear would eat him, and we were not coming after him. Patrick had to go over to the new neighbor's campsite and jump start their car so they could go to Lodgepole and buy some tent poles. The funny thing was that Pop Pop took one look at their tent and called it that their car would have dead batteries. We gathered around the fire to shake off the morning chill. Jessica hijacked one of Liam's blankets for Bridget who couldn't stop shivering. An ember landed on Toby and he didn't even move!
We drove the RV to Lodgepole so we could leave the dogs in the AC while we all hiked down to the General Sherman. The path is paved and really pretty easy to get down. Apparently Gavin thought the name of the tree was "the German Sherman" and he and Sean renamed it the "Alright Sherman" upon seeing it and being less than impressed. After we reached the tree, Pop Pop walked back and Sean came down (someone had to stay with the dogs). We played Telephone with Laney while we waited for him. We would send her from one bench to another with a message. I told her to tell Shesh that she was a bad girl. She reported to Shesh's bench that "Mommy says you are a black coon." Then Shesh told her to tell Patrick that he needed a spank. That just made her cry.
 |
| The family at General Sherman |
We went for a hike on the Congress Trail to see some other beautiful Sequoia specimens. Laney kept asking where we were going, and we told her, "to see another tree." She must have thought we were soooo boring. While hiking, Sean tried to guess everyone's nationality that we passed. On our way back up to the parking lot, we passed a number of people walking down to the General who were very winded. It is a pretty steep hike back up, so we decided that if you were breathing hard on the way down, you would probably die on the way back up.
 |
| Fry guy: a vacation must! |
 |
| No words can explain Sean and his actions. He just is. |
Thankfully we all made it back to the cars. We returned to Lodgepole where Shesh, Pop Pop, Jess, and Gavin took showers, and the rest of us had ice cream. Shesh was helping a Swiss lady with her money at the showers and then told someone that "she doesn't know. They don't have money there."
When we got back to the campground, Sean copped an attitude with everyone because he wanted to drive home with us and not go back to Tahoe. We were unsure we could fit him in the car, so he sat by himself angrily strumming "Crazy on You" on his guitar. He perked up a little later when we had dinner made by the Perry's (asparagus, rice, cashew beef, jalapeno poppers, shrimp, and stuffed mushrooms.) We sat by the campfire and traded stories as Gavin made his very first s'more under the direction of the whole family.
Campfire randomness:
- Castle = asshole
- Sean and Jessica fight over just how dirty his house really is (did it give her ringworm?)
- I told Sean he couldn't ride in our car until he washed from the knees down (he had been barefoot in camp all week.) He told me that he would wet-wipe his balls for me. Totally not necessary.
- Sean declares that "Jesus said, "he who casts stones is a sinner. Wait, did they have glass houses in Jesus' time?"
- BET: Sean has a girl friend by March 1= J&G will pay for them to go to the nicest date weekend possible. If not, then he pays for them to go to BLVD and Nob Hill Spa. There is a 50 mile radius for Sean's date.
- Sean admits he is called "Midnight Perry" because he either passes out or goes to bed by then. Jessica replies that leaving a bar without telling your friends is called "pulling a Perry."
- Jessica got mad when we teased her about acupuncture and stormed off to her tent, only to eavesdrop on us and continue the conversation from the tent because she had no pants on.
- Buster can make himself into a dogball.
Favorite quote of day 4: "If you are winded going down to the General Sherman, you are probably going to die going back up."
Day 5: Sequoia to home
We broke down camp pretty quickly and loaded the kids and dogs into the car. We managed to find some room for Sean and off we went. P and I decided that Liam could face forwards for the ride so he could watch movies with Laney, even though he was only 9 months. We had to stop every few hours to let the kids out of the car to stretch their legs. We ended up having lunch at another Round Table Pizza since it was buffet style and the dogs were in the car. Later we stopped in Carson to get some gas and use the restroom. It was so gross that I just held Laney over the toilet and forbid her from touching anything. Then as I was strapping the kids back into the car, a guy in a Lexus pulled up next to us and asked if we could give him any money for gas since he had just run out. That place gave me the creeps and I couldn't wait to hit the road again.
We made it home in one piece, which is more than I can say for that poor motor home. Just for good measure, Pop Pop hit one more thing on the way home: the tree stump at the end of the driveway in Tahoe. Apparently the rental company is just going to bill him for it, and I can't wait to see what the damage is. Poor Pop Pop and Shesh had to clean out the RV by themselves, but we had about 4 days worth of work cleaning up our gear from the trip.
Anyhow, our family trip was just amazing. We laughed and laughed and then laughed some more. Sure we were all tired and dirty after a few days of camping with the kids, but I wouldn't trade those extra loads of laundry for the world. Can't wait to do it all over again next summer!
