As I was driving my kids home tonight I plugged my iPod into the car stereo and the first song that blared out was "Godspeed (Sweet Dreams)" by the Dixie Chicks. This is Liam's lullaby. Each of my kids has their own special lullaby. Hearing this song took me back to the very first time I sang it to Liam in our hospital room on October 4, 2010. I waited until it was just Liam and I and then I cuddled him up close and sang to him "Godspeed, little man/ sweet dreams, little man/ oh my love will fly/ to you each night on angel wings/ Godspeed/ sweet dreams." Then Laney's sleepy voice piped up from the backseat and she wanted to hear her special song. Laney's song is "Lullaby" by the Dixie Chicks. I skipped to "Lullaby" and remembered craddling her in the window seat in our hospital room on June 4, 2008, singing to her in the afternoon sunlight "how long do you want to be loved?/ is forever enough?/ is forever enough?/ how long do you want to be loved?/ is forever enough cuz I'm never ever giving you up." These two songs combined with the bittersweetness of a looming birthday reduced me to tears by the time that I made it to our driveway.
It is remarkable how long the days are when you have children, but how quickly the years pass. How it seems that time can fade away when recalling the memory of singing those songs to each of my children for the first time, and how quickly it seems time has passed since then. Just last Wednesday I witnessed Liam taking his first independent steps. Still, the song can take me back in an instant to those first few precious hours when I was getting to know my little babies and singing them a love song that will remain with us always. At times it seems that I was just introducing the melodies to them yesterday.
I love that they each have their own song. I sing them their songs as I put them to bed, or when they need comfort and I find myself wondering as I sing if it is them or I that needs the song. How long will my babies let me sing their songs to them before they deem it too lame or babyish? Until then I keep holding onto the precious moments that will fast forward me to 35. Birthdays serve to remind us that time is precious and to make the most of it. I am so thankful for all the times I have sung those songs to my kids. I hope it never ends.
Happy birthday me.
Happy Birthday, my sweet baby CeCe! I will never forget the first time I held you....I had to fight with a big nurse with an attitude to stop at the nursery so I could hold you. I don't remember singing you a song then, but I know I just held you tight and spoke words of unending love to you for a precious 5 minutes. Too Ra Roo singing would come later, and let me tell you, holding your children and rocking them to sleep while singing this to them is the most complete moment I know at age 61. So take heart....growing older is bittersweet but God keeps sending us blessings in our lives. I love you more today than I did 34 years ago!
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