Targetians: Giving Walmartians a run for their money

I took the kids on a *fun* outing today to Target.  They will do anything for crap from the $1 bin, including being nice to each other while I fill up my cart with cleaning supplies and more kids clothes they don't really need.  They love riding in this cart, which I am pretty sure is at least 8 feet long.  At least it has a 5 point harness for each child so they can't get away from me!

The lamest of all carts to push around a big box store.  God help me, my kids shriek with joy when they see it empty.

So, as I wheeled this red monstrosity through the children's clothing department, we got stuck between several rounders of clothes.  I mean, wedged tightly between the rounders with no escape route.  Liam started pulling clothes off the hanger and flinging them in the air (of course).   I put the red monster in reverse and finally found an aisle big enough for a 50 point turn.  Lesson learned.  No clothes shopping with the kids in a red boat.  I knew there was a reason that I loved online shopping:  you can drink wine and no one throws clothes like confetti at you.

Anyhow, we wheeled over to the cleaning aisle and as I made a left turn down an aisle (after properly signalling to the carts around me!) I found a woman with 2 kids in a cart similar to mine.  Only she was shopping with a bowl in her hands so her kid could throw up into it.  That's right, there was a small child barfing in the cleaning aisle at Target.  Hey God, didn't I already have enough barf for one week?  If you don't know what I am talking about, read my previous blog post about swim lessons.  As a mom of 2 mildly well-behaved children, I try not to judge other moms and the way they parent while I'm out and about.  However, is there really any cleaning supply so necessary that you would drag your barfy kid to Target along with a mixing bowl and a baby? I watched her stow the child in the seat and the barf-filled bowl on the bottom of the cart, and calmly continue perusing the cleaning aisle.  Right then I knew that whatever it was that I had previously needed from that aisle, I would be happy to pay top dollar for later at Albertsons.  We blasted backwards out of that aisle and found another one clear of bodily fluids.

We picked up a case of dog food I got a running start to get our cart going towards the check-out stands.  Just as we topped out at max-cart speed, a woman in a Lil' Rascal wheeled up next to us and asked Liam if he wanted to race.  She then tipped her head back and cackled, flashing us her few remaining teeth as she sped off.   Liam turned around to look at me with what I can only imagine was his "What the F was that?" look.  If only I had a picture!

My Grammy recently declared that she would love to go to Walmart sometime to people watch after viewing the People of Walmart website.  Perhaps I will start a new website dedicated to Targetians and all of their weirdness.  Isn't anyone normal anymore?